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But it doesn't bother me now...

This is a frequent response I get when I ask a client to describe their feelings about a certain situation from the past. Im sure many of you experienced how something that felt like a shock at the time, the following day wasn't as vivid and sharp anymore, and felt like it all remained in the past.


Our mind has this great and tricky ability to send all the unprocessed emotions into the cellars, where they are stored indefinitely and are no longer affecting us emotionally. BUT, the trick here is that these feelings and emotions are now hidden in the tissues and organs of our body, and the nature of these emotions determines the location where they get stored. Also the unconscious mind stores the conceptual memory of the situation in its cellars of memories and creates a sort of a filter for any future similar situation.

This filter then distorts every situation with similar feelings and emotions and creates reactions that compromise our choices and responses to life.

Here is an example from my life, which popped up during one of my personal therapy sessions. I had a teacher who labeled me a C student from the very first day. Later on in the year we were given a writing homework, which got me really excited and I had put a lot of effort and care into in. When it came to presenting the work, I was very proud and eager to share it with the class (this was a very rare , by the way), so after my presentation the teacher, indifferently told me to sit down and said I get a C for it.

When I asked why, and if it was actually good, she said that as its me, no matter how good it is, I still only get a C.

This situation made me feel so angry, defeated and disappointed, that I then decided that there is no point trying hard, as it won't make any difference to recognition by this teacher. Later in life this showed up as my inability to sustain interest in something I started, and generally having the "what's the point" approach to challenges.

I would have never considered this situation life changing, and it definitely didn't bother me anymore 20 years later, but the filter was formed and it was definitely distorting my perception of life. This is a simple situation, but is a great example of how something that we feel strongly at the time isn't processed properly, can then make a huge difference to our life journey.






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